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5 things you should know before dating a Chinese Girl

Image by Shaira Dela Peña

Editor: Otis Cheng

As the Eastern and Western worlds become more connected, men and women from different cultural backgrounds meet and fall in love with each other.  Modern Chinese ladies are believed to be gorgeous, thoughtful and independent.  If you come across a Chinese lady in life and both of you find each other attractive. Please take the chance to learn about the 5 most important things while starting a happy relationship.    

1. Family-oriented?

'Family is life' is a concept deep down in Chinese culture. Considering how close most Chinese families are, leaving a good impression on other family members is always a plus. However, most of the time it could be quite challenging.

Don't be surprised when you hear Chinses parents against the relationship because they worry that they'll gonna lose their daughters. The mindset that their daughter's going abroad and leaving them behind troubles them. Not to mention all the stereotypes they hold toward foreigners.  

On the other hand, unlike traditional Chinese parents, young parents in the new generation tend to respect their child's will and pursuit. With minimum manipulation and the freedom to make their own decision, there are more chances you get approved by her family. The most important thing to bare in mind is that you might be the ever first foreigner your girl has introduced to the family, and facing cultural differences is inevitable.  Here's your chance to prove yourself! 

2. Dutch, what?

You have probably heard a Chinese man saying " Dutch is not allowed in China"  The truth is that Chinese girls do love to be spoiled. It's the fastest way to show your affection through good food and gifts.  Actions speak louder than words they often claim. 

 

But this doesn't mean it's non-negotiable,  Money issues can come up at any point in almost any relationship, so make sure you and your girl are financially compatible on the first date. 

 

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Chinese society has become more segregated geographically and financially, couples often have similar educations and income levels. 

This humorous ad shows how much Chinese people care about wealth, career, and social status. The sad news is. it's not exaggerated in most cases. 

3. Shower your girl with compliments 

Image by Ruizhe du

For the first time, you fall head over heels with a Chinese girl. How would you express your love to her? 

 

Speak straight: Simply a "Zuò wǒ de nǚ péng you ba" (Be my girl) Sometimes the most direct ways are the best. 

Being Subtle:  For some shy and introverted Chinese girls. "Wǒ jué de hé nǐ zài yì qǐ hěn kāi xīn, hěn fànɡ sōnɡ" (I feel very happy and relaxed when I'm with you) might be a congenial compliment. 

Being Humorous: "jiù nǐ zhè yànɡ de,chú le wǒ shuí yào ā " (Who would accept you as a girlfriend but I ?) may be a good start, but don't get cocky.

 

Chinese girls love compliments! If you like a Chinese girl, the strategy here is to stop beating around the bush and go with your feelings! Let her know you like her already!

 

 

>>>7 Ways to Impress the Chinese you like by TrulyChinese​

4. The Dating Etiquette

 The dating culture difference between the East and West can be significant in terms of sex, pragmatism and the expectations of marriage. Indeed, exclusive dates and monogamy are more common in the Eastern world. When it comes to an actual relationship, your Chinese girl may take it way more seriously than you can imagine. 

In other words, casual dating is relatively rare in China. They would like you to confirm the relationship not just for FWB or ONS, otherwise, Chinese girls would think you're just playing with her.

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*** What to GIFT? ***

Giving gifts can boost your chances with a girl, but it's wise to hold off until things are more certain. If you're set on it, keep it light and not too pricey. So, what's a good choice for the first date gift roulette?

  • Snack Surprise: How about bringing a snack stash? It's like saying, "I thought of you, but I'm not going overboard." Add in a fun flavour to keep it light.

  • Little Delights: Dressing up a bit is just a nice touch. Toss in a small, cute gift – a polite move that says, "Hey, I'm here for a good time, not a long time.", and generally, the other person won't refuse.

  • Flower Power (No Roses): Flowers are cool, not roses. Go for something different like white, yellow, or violets – a subtle way of saying, "You're special" without going overboard. And remember, moderation is the key.

  • Her Favorites: Want to impress without going over the top? Get her something she likes. " Gather info, plan, and surprise her.

  • Cuddly Companion: A small, cute stuffed animal is a sweet touch. Just keep it reasonable in size – logistics matter. It's a little gesture to make her smile, not a Broadway production.

Remember, it's all about making a connection, not flaunting. Keep it light, and genuine, and you'll ace the date!

*** How to DATE? ***

  • Brief Date, Big Laughs: Keep it short; end before the awkward silence kicks in. Aim for 2-3 hours on the first date. Ending on a high note is key,  try to create a vibe of "I wish this didn't have to end so soon," leaving an eagerness for the next outing.

  • Pre-plan Your Eats: EATING genuinely plays a huge role in Asian dating culture.  Considering her food preferences, plans a few restaurant options to keep things smooth

  • No Marathon Travel: Long journeys are exhausting. Opt for a nearby location to keep the first date stress-free. Save the long trips for later when you both are more comfortable.

  • Comfortable Location Matters: Choose a comfortable spot for the date. A crowded place may kill the conversation, and waiting in long lines won't help either. 

  • Weather Watcher:  No one likes a soggy date. Be ready for anything, even if it means a surprise rain dance.

Remember, the key is to make the date enjoyable and leave a positive impression for future adventures!

*** Where to DATE? ***

  • Hotspot Highlight: Restaurants

    • First choice for many, especially for early or first dates.

    • Boosts the success rate of the invite and offers lots of chat opportunities.

    • A chance to observe eating habits and attitudes toward splitting the bill.

 

  • Caffeine Chronicles: Cafés

    • Budget-friendly; even Starbucks won't break the bank.

    • Flexible timing – can extend or cut short the date as needed.

    • Easy location shifts for impromptu changes in plans.

  • Starlit Stories: Scenic Night Spots

    • Perfect for adding a touch of romance.

    • Night views create a warm and charming atmosphere which accelerates the relationship vibe quickly.

  • Mall Marvels: Shopping Centers/Markets

    • Department stores offer an all-in-one experience.

    • Ideal for dining, shopping, movies, and even games.

    • IKEA gets a special mention for its homey vibe.

    • Local markets in the area can create a unique connection with each other's hometowns.

Final Word: Have Fun Together!

Whether deepening connections or just enjoying good food and views. The key is to make it enjoyable for both partners. Because the best dates leave you both wanting more!

5. Overcome the language barrier

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Dating a Chinese girl could be completely or partially different from your dating experiences in the past and this could bring pressure on both of you, especially when you can't understand the language each other speaks. Here are the quick guides,  hope you succeed on the speedrun.

Don’t try too hard to impress

You might think the only way to impress a Chinese girl is simply by following the tips above. Sadly, you'll gonna need more to build some chemistry. The process of practising open communication and developing trust requires time and consistent connection. Being yourself and being natural is one of the ways to get a Chinese to like you. Trying too hard to impress her may lead to an uncomfortable experience.

 

Get prepared and be confident!!

Now you have the most important things you need to know before dating a Chinese girl! We know this can be intimidating but it is important to remind that they will respect you for trying to communicate with them in their language.

For more help mastering this situation and others, you can book some Mandarin lessons with one of our teachers. We also run tons of cultural experiences so get ready to immerse yourself in the Eastern world!  

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